Consequence of a Leader's Instinct
by A Damsel In Distress
Summary: The time has come where Leo is forced to choose one brother's life over another. Will it be Mikey or Don? Who does he save when his brotherly instinct fails and he has to rely on his leader instincts instead? What happened to Raph anyways? Rated T for language. No Tcest. Action/Fluff/Drama. Two-Shot. Enjoy chapter 2 and 3!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in any shape, way, or form!**

* * *

Mikey had subconsciously decided to finally acknowledge today could have been better as he wiped a good amount of blood away from his nose trying to regain some composure after being hit in the face with a bo. Not Donnie's bo, shell not even a wooden one but a solid piece a metal that knocked a few more brain cells loose. He mentally swore that he saw stars all the way to the next galaxy and back before shaking his head to clear it. After he managed his dizziness, the youngest turtle slowly got to his feet from his knees before another attack was aimed at him.

"Mikey!" was the only short warning he got before another elite came at him full force with another shiny weapon. _Sword,_ his mind barely registered as he dodged a K.O. at the last possible millisecond the world could give him. It ended up almost tickling his ear as he put his instinct and training to use by wrapping his nun-chuck around the sword to hold the elite in place while he kicked upward to snap the guy's neck backward with a satisfying _click._ He watched with a grimace as the Foot's solider fell lifelessly to the ground. He never liked to kill but he's learned unfortunately its either kill or be killed sometimes.

"Mikey, you okay?!" Raph yelled over the clash of his sais against a pair of swords.

"What kind of question is that bro? He marked up my pretty face, now how am I supposed to get the ladies?" Mikey responded with a broad smile as he dug some shurikens out of his belt and threw them at the elite his hotheaded brother was currently trying to out duel. One managed to nick the soldier's cheekbone which caused him to stumble back a step and Raph took his advantage to knock the guy off the roof.

"What ladies? Yer' uglier than Casey and that's sayin' something," Raph insulted, walking back away from the edge of the rooftop towards his youngest brother.

"Well that just hurts my heart Raphie-" Mikey started before realizing that Raph was staring at his now broken nose rather than at him.

"…staring is rude you know. I know you still think I'm pretty despite your insult but if you stare any harder I might end up blushing." Mikey said, batting his eyelids like a silly frilly girl all the while flicking his bandana tail away from his face like he had hair in a flirtatious manner. He was really just trying to distract Raph from feeling unnecessary guilt about his damaged goods and it worked.

Raph looked up from his nose to meet his childish clear bright eyes to give off a string of angry obscenities.

Mikey laughed naturally saying, "Oh boy, somebody's not going to turtle heaven," before running away to meet up with Leo and Donnie who had just finished taking care of business on their end of town with a fuming Raph trailing behind.

They spotted their other brothers on a slightly lower rooftop and jumped down to meet and greet them.

"Long time no see," Mikey chuckled which caused two eye rolls but at least a small smile from Leo that was short lived when it turned upside down.

"What happened?" Leo asked looking at Mikey's now purplish face before he and Don inspected the rest of his and Raph's bodies for any more serious injuries.

Mikey had half the mind to tell them that Raph did it but his red banded turtle beat him to the punch.

"He got hit with a metal rod to his nose. Those damn Elites are pretty well trained. It knocked him on his ass for a good minute so you should probably check him out Don," Raph said with a small amount of guilt that still laced his words from not being able to help his brother in time but Mikey merely shrugged it off.

The youngest took a step back when Don took a step forward, putting his hands up defensively.

"I'm fine, I think by now I'd know the difference between having and not having a concussion these days."

"I dunno bro, maybe you have a concussion that's makin' you think you don't have one," Raph replied, smirking.

"Doubt it-"

"Let Don double check Mikey, just to make sure," Leo reasoned and so Mikey let Don approach him this time to shine his little doctor pen light thing in his eyes watching his pupils, asking him questions, and gingerly touching spots around his nose before declaring, "It's a fracture, it'll heal on its own so we won't need to re-break any bones and no concussion."

Leo sighed in relief before saying, "That's good. Well let's go ahead and make our way back home anyways. We've already had our fun."

"Does that mean pizza for dinner?" Mikey asked, using his signature puppy eye move to persuade the eldest.

Leo looked down affectionately, never the one to refuse those eyes and replied, "Sure Mikey."

Raph was certain that Leo also felt bad that their kid brother ended up with a broken nose for the night and was sure Mikey could get away with murder at this point- _oh wait, he was,_ Raph thought darkly as he recalled the fight that happened moments ago.

"Sweet! Meat lover's pizza here I come!" Mikey hummed happily before looking over at Don who'd been much too quiet. "I wonder how we can afford pizza all the time now…actually I wonder how we can afford anything now-a-days…" Mikey trailed off as he was shoved forward by Raph to get a move on. Don's eyes widened at the back of their heads as he refused to answer that question, especially in front of their _noble_ and _honest_ leader.

Donnie had been quieter than usual though so with a questioning look from the oldest brother he knew Leo wanted to ask him what was up rather than figure out how Don got money for them.

"Leo…" Don started as they still stood in place on top of the roof. "Something doesn't seem right…" he finished, looking around at their surroundings briefly, Leo following suit.

 _So he's noticed too,_ Leo thought to himself, trying to see if he could sense any immediate danger around them. He figured Raph and Mikey were too high off of adrenaline to notice anything and he planned at the moment to keep it that way. Both turtles felt a small twist in their guts but it wasn't enough to draw their weapons out. The problem was that they couldn't _see_ anything that represented a threat. There were only other empty rooftops and brick walls that surrounded them.

Leo sighed again before saying "I know. We should head home quickly and just keep an eye out. Make sure there's no one-"

"LEO! DON! GET YER' SHELLS OVER HERE!" They heard Raph scream from three rooftops away. Panic swallowed whatever was left of their guts as they whipped their heads over to see Raph and Mikey, shell to shell, surrounded by four more elites.

This was different somehow though. _More dangerous_ , Leo automatically thought. They wore slightly different clothing, instead of red capes and scarves; it was a metallic purple color that covered their heads like a hood rather than the fancy straw hats Mikey admired. In general, they also looked bigger…more masculine than the previous elites they fought half an hour ago.

 _Who are these guys?_ Leo asked himself as he took off in a dead run to join his brothers, Donnie following behind. Fear gripped every muscle in Donnie's body making him almost feel numb as he listened to his heartbeat drum frantically against his skull. The four brothers were in a stare down with the new and improved elites, analyzing and trying to figure out who would make the first move.

Weapons were drawn and at the ready now, bodies tensed with anticipation, waiting for Leo's command. The eldest narrowed his eyes as he took in their relaxed stances and the weirdest part was that not one of them had a weapon he could see. _Were they friends or foes?_

Mikey on the other hand was itching to make a comment. Something along the lines of telling them that the party ended half an hour ago but they were more than welcomed to split the cost of pizza and share. He knew he should wait for Leo's order to attack or try and flee but all they were doing was standing and sizing each other up and quite frankly Mikey was getting hungrier by the minute. If they were going to fight then he wanted to get on with it and if they weren't then well that's just the better scenario all together.

 _And now it's raining…awesome,_ he grumbled to himself, _maybe I should ask if I can borrow one of their hoodie things._ He gave a questioning glance over to Leo whose eyes never left the solider in front of him. Leo could feel his stare but honestly the eldest didn't know what to make of the situation either. They weren't attacking but they gave off a threatening presence and his instincts were telling him that this was the danger he and Don felt moments earlier.

Mikey switched over to glance at Raph who was now starting to get agitated too, shifting from foot to foot with his sais out in front of him, huffing and puffing like the big bad wolf (turtle) he was. Alright, it was time to make a move he decided on his own. He knew Leo was still trying to figure things out but sometimes his plans made him feel like he missed two birthdays, they took so long.

When he straightened up he could feel the shift of his brothers' eyes on his shell. He lowered his weapons, knowing it was a big no-no in Leo's rule book but someone had to make the first move and he'd try and do what he did best; make new friends. The key word is try.

"Um…" the youngest turtle cleared his throat to prepare himself to yell over the thundering noises of rain hitting concrete, "Not that I don't like hanging out with you guys and all but I was wondering…if we can…just…go? I'm kinda hungry and stuff!"

Raph wanted throttle his youngest brother. What the hell kind of response was that?! Asking something a high school kid would his teacher. He could tell Mikey regretted asking something so stupid too as he sheepishly scratched the back of his head giving off a wary smile.

Mikey waited a minute for a response, regardless, before none came and if it was one thing Mikey absolutely hated, it was being ignored. So he took a step forward in order to get closer to the elite in front of him in case they couldn't hear him over the sound of rain, which was possible, and would have taken it all back if he knew the super elite was going to take that as a sign of aggression and put him in a dangerous close to death single handed chokehold for it.

"MIKEY!" His brothers yelled for him and in a blink of an eye it was a chaotic mess.

Leo, naturally, was the first to lunge at the super elite that was trying to kill Mikey. As soon as he moved to push forward another elite appeared in front of him and suddenly he was engaged in battle as a second elite took him on as well.

Raph then took his opportunity to free Mikey aiming a sai at the elites head when the fourth elite grabbed his extended arm from behind until it made a sickening _pop_ noise. And just like that Leo was being forced away from his brothers in a fight with two of the super elites, Mikey was still choking to death, Raph was already down an arm, and Donnie was in a frantic state of mind knowing his first priority would still be to get Mikey out of the chokehold he lost consciousness.

Mikey had dropped his weapons as he began to lose feeling in the rest of his body. He clumsily tried to latch his hands onto the elite's arm, weakly trying to pull it away from his now bruised neck and cracking bones. He let out rapid gasps of air as he tried to take in whatever oxygen he could manage before Don threw is Bo at the elite at such an angle that he was forced to drop Mikey in order to catch it.

Mikey really had to give his brother credit; Don was too damn smart sometimes. He fell to his knees placing his hand against his neck, trying to get some kind of feeling back to his nerves again. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Raph now in a fight with the elite that attacked him and the elite that had caught Don's bo just now was staring at his genius brother. Leo over in the corner was holding his own for now but Mikey knew he only had a few more seconds to recover as much as he could before he'd have to get back into the game.

The elite snapped Don's bo in half as he took a step toward him and threw the pieces over towards the edge of the roof. Mikey saw this and quickly went to pick up his weapons before aiming to hit the guy in the back of his head. Although, as turtle luck was true to form, he grabbed Mikey's weapon in mid swing forcing the youngest turtle to let go of one of his weapon again to fight with his body instead. Now that he gained his elite's attention back, Don was free to run over and take one of the guys off Leo's hands.

It was a hard fight. It was a long fight. Bones were broken, new scratches and scars were made, and the turtles were running into the problem of exhaustion.

An hour had almost past since the fight broke out and the turtles only managed to take down one of the super elites by sheer dumb luck as the guy jumped to take down Raph but the red banded turtle was already standing at the edge of the rooftop and so the elite went flying over when he ducked down. He actually managed to tangle himself in some telephone wires in the middle of falling as the cables caught him and by the looks of it he'd been electrocuted as well as managed to create a power outage across the street.

Raph gave a tired smile as his turtle luck was finally dying down, as it was bad thing, and turned to join Don in his fight. Although it still hurt like hell, his arm felt better after he had a chance to put it back in place and he would make do until they could get home safely.

Mikey had been in the middle of blocking his elite which he named Three, like the number because he had no other way to refer to them, before he glanced over to see One disappear in front of Leo just to reappear behind him, ready to deliver a final blow when Mikey kicked Three with all the strength of a raging fire away from him as he managed to get out his manriki to throw it and pray to the turtle heavens that it would loop around One's arm and it did. Once it did, he fell to his knees for more stable support and yanked at it, forcing One to fall his way before the ninja caught on and unhooked himself all before Leo could turn around see what had happened. At least it bought his eldest brother some time to recompose himself and turn around to attack One again.

"Mikey look out!" Leo yelled as he caught Mikey staring at him for a reason he hadn't known. He simply thought Mikey had his head in the clouds again which made him almost want to put his youngest brother in a time out from the fight so he could lecture him.

With the distraction, Mikey had failed to notice Three already above him with a single silver blade he pulled out from behind his back. Leo was still being pushed back by One so he wasn't able to reach Mikey no matter how hard he fought but Donnie had heard the wild cry, saw Mikey's elite sneak up behind him, and had already started to make his way over.

The purple banded turtle stood in front of his younger brother with his shell facing his opponent, using it as a shield so that the blade wouldn't hit flesh and do worse damage. Mikey could do nothing but watch with wide eyes as his brother was then suddenly kicked in the ribs by Three and sent flying sideways, making contact with the edge of the roof's brick wall.

"DONNIE!" Mikey called out as he saw his brother's shell hit the wall hard. He was scrambling to get up and make his way over but Three had another plan for the youngest as the ninja kicked him square in the face, being forced to fly and land on his shell. His new broken nose now made his old broken nose look like a wimp. He was sure it was broken in multiple places now but he didn't have time to care as he rolled over to his side just to watch Three walk over to Don who was struggling to get up as well.

"N-NO!" Mikey tried to get out, blood now blocking his lungs; he was having a hard time keeping conscious. But he had to get to Donnie. That elite was going to kill him. He tried getting up one last time before Two got away from Raph and shoved him back to the ground with a kick to his shell. At that point, all the youngest could do was watch as Three grabbed Donnie by the forehead and slammed it backward into the wall until his brother lost consciousness and slowly slumped sideways onto the ground.

"DONNIE!" Mikey screamed until he coughed up blood. Raph hadn't been paying much attention to Mikey and Don's situation as he was focused on keeping Two away from them the whole time. The second Two took off toward Mikey, Raph's only thought was again to take him away from reaching is brother. He was late in doing so as he watched the elite kick Mikey down, and he hadn't heard the word that came out of his youngest brother's mouth as he was already seeing red, but he did end up tackling Two a second later after Mikey watched Don slump to the ground just to fly over the rooftop with him.

Mikey barely whipped his head back to see Raph's bandana tails disappear over the edge clutching onto Two before he whispered out, "Raph.." feeling all the insides of his body turn to stone. It had to be nightmare. That's all this was. This kind of fight rarely ever happened where two brothers were taken down in a moment's instance. They were stronger than this. This wasn't real. It couldn't be.

But no matter how hard Mikey prayed that it was all a nightmare, no matter how hard he tried to force himself awake, he couldn't. Because he was already awake and this was his reality right now.

Leo this whole time could hear things happening over at the other side of the rooftop but his elite was too strong to get rid of. He tried almost everything he could possibly think of to get to his brothers side but no matter where he stepped, turned, jumped, etc., One was always there in front of him keeping him on his toes.

That was until One suddenly disappeared again and as Leo waited for him to attack, it never came. The eldest turtle stared in front of him for a second trying to figure out where his elite had gone before he caught sight of One appear over Mikey instead.

Then he turned his head to catch Three over Don and to find Raph and Two missing.

Then his whole world fell apart as both Three and One held blades without a handle over the bodies of his youngest brothers. Don and Mikey were too far away from one another…

and Leo couldn't save them both.

He had time to save one brother… that much he knew but not both. And what was he to do? What kind of sick twisted day did this turn out to be where he was put into a position where he had to choose to save one brother over another? His veins were on fire, as he broke out into a sweat and started hyperventilating. _Panic attack,_ his mind ghostly recognized. He was going to pass out from fear alone and then both brothers possibly all three would be dead.

What was he supposed to do?

What the _fuck_ was he supposed to do?!

He couldn't choose. He couldn't pick Don over Mikey or Mikey over Don. There was just no possible way his brotherly instinct would let him. His feet were glued to the ground but if he didn't move soon everyone would die.

 _Do something,_ he commanded himself, _do something, do something, DO SOMETHING NOW!_

Mikey by all means wasn't as dumb as people gave him credit for. He knew the situation as soon as One appeared over him with a blade. He was watching as Three was doing the same over Don and he could see Leo struggling with the situation. Donnie was unconscious and he couldn't save himself and the only thing Mikey could move as he laid on his plastron was his eyes. He tried so damn hard to move even a finger but it was like his body couldn't react to the orders his brain was trying to deliver. He faintly feared paralysis but it wouldn't matter if he was going to die.

He knew Leo had to save one of them. He knew Leo couldn't save them both. He knew it. He wanted Leo to save Don, he really did but he also wanted Raph to stop playing hide and seek right now and climb back over the rooftop to save his shell. But his hotheaded brother didn't and he didn't have any more time to think about him right now.

He didn't know what was going to happen, didn't know what Leo would do but time was running out.

Leo still couldn't get his body to move to one brother or the other. But he had to save someone.

So he let his mind go blank and let his leader instincts take over instead.

Because he couldn't choose as a brother. So he let the leader inside himself make the decision instead as he shut down all emotions and feelings, and let a leader's instinct take over his mind.

Mikey clenched his eyes tightly as the blade came down to meet the back of his head but he forced them open again when he heard a pair of katana blades clash against metal.

His heart hurt with relief as for a selfish second he thought he had been saved. But when he had opened his eyes, he was staring across the rooftop where Donnie was passed out cold and Leo was crouched with swords over him, growling, in a defensive position.

Mikey gave a small tired smile as little relief still filled his heart as he knew Donnie would be safe now. He just wished he hadn't been awake to witness his oldest brother choose Don over him.

Because it hurt. A lot.

And as the blade pierced his flesh, he fell into a lonely world of darkness with his last thoughts being,

 _Leo chose Don over me._

 _Leo chose Don…_

 _Leo chose Don._

* * *

Hello again! I hope you have all enjoyed the story so far! This is a two shot so please look for the next chapter on Saturday! You never know what's going to happen until you read it! Please review to let me know what you think of the story so far, reviews make my heart flutter in a great way, and I'd be more than honored if you continue to read the next part, favorited, or followed the story as well! I hope you all have a great weekend!

-A Damsel in Distress


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer** : I do NOT own the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in any shape, way, form, etc. **Warning** : Foul language.

* * *

He knows he's not supposed to be out. He's hurt, it's dangerous, reckless, and just a stupid idea considering everything that's happened. He knows, but he doesn't care. He needed the crisp cool air of November to fill his burning veins like a fish needs water to survive. It's only been a few days since his nearest death experience and Mikey already couldn't stand being confined within the lair. Too many mixed emotions haunted his home like the black plague currently and he just needed to _get out._ It was dangerous, but he took a minute on top of an apartment building's roof to appreciate the grey clouds breaking apart to let the sun seep through and show off a dark yet beautiful sunset. It was almost like Mother Nature was trying to apologize for the youngest turtle's predicament which was ironic in its own way but at the same time strangely comforting.

It was peaceful. It was what Mikey needed right now before going back home to deal with his angry, confused, guilt-ridden brothers. It was what he needed before his own emotions of _hurt_ and _betrayal_ resurfaced and consumed his thoughts. He came up here to try to clear his head and find a way to shove those small waves of hatred back down past his heart into some kind of locked imaginary box so that he'd never have to feel the way he did every time he was in the same room with his oldest brother. He was supposed to be happy that Donnie's life was spared. Happy that he, himself didn't lose to Death that night.

So why couldn't he do what he did best and brush off his emotions, put a damn smile on his face, and be the joke cracking, tension relieving brother that his family needed right now?

Mikey sat there for moment in his own thoughts trying to come up with an answer before a familiar rough voice interrupted.

"Hey," Raph called out from across the way and when the youngest turtle refused to look back Raph continued to say, "Ya' know Leo doesn't want us topside right now."

That only seemed to add fuel to the fire that was roaring in the pit of his stomach. With one clenched fist (that other hand too injured to move) Mikey had half the mind to call out _'I don't give a shit what Leo wants,'_ but refrained against doing so for everybody's sake. He swept his eyes across Raph then, taking in his bruised body and cracked shell remembering what the hothead told him after he had lost consciousness.

" _I caught a clothing line to break my fall. Luckily the crazy ass elite wasn't so lucky," Raph smirked with vengeance, as he remembered watching the elite hit the ground, a noise he heard that resembled close to what a firework sounded like. "From there I took out the grapplin' hook and shot it back over the rooftop. And get this! Apparently Leo said it caught onto the other elite's neck and when I yanked on it, the thing dug in a few inches and it sent him flyin' over against the wall. So I used his body against the wall for leverage without knowing it when I climbed back up and over. By then the asshole was trying to tear the hook back out of his neck but didn't matter when I jammed my sai right through his empty skull. Lucky huh?" Raph finished with a lazy smile looking smug, proud, and full of himself._

 _On the other hand Mikey looked and felt sick to his stomach. He abruptly stopped eating his soup that Raph had so gracefully took out of its canned home and microwaved. It was the cheap ninety-eight cent kind of crap that Mikey always hated but he had to at least appreciate the gesture form his hotheaded brother as he sat in the infirmary, immobile for a time being. As he soaked in what Raph said, he could feel bile start to rise in the back of his throat._

" _He still nicked you in the hand though so I should've probably thought better than to fly off the rooftop," Raph said humorlessly averting Mikey's blank gaze. Guilt was radiating off the sai wielder like sunlight reflecting off a mirror but Mikey couldn't deal with that right now. He was still processing the information and Raph's words of "Lucky huh?" repeated again and again in his head._

 _Because that's just what it was. It was luck that saved his sorry ass when Leo chose to save Don instead. Luck that the grappling hook happened to throw the elite off balance. Luck that because he was off balanced the elite only managed to pierce his hand instead of his skull. It was stupid, uncalculated, 'everything and everyone happened to be in the right place in the right time,' kind of luck._

 _And the sick and twisted realization of it all forced Mikey to lose his lunch._

"…key?"

The youngest turtle involuntarily shivered at the recent memory.

"Mikey! You okay?" Raph asked after he watched his brother stare emotionless at the ground for a minute.

 _Am I okay?_ Mikey asked himself. The answer was no. He didn't think anyone was okay right now but he nodded regardless.

"Let's head back then bro. Donnie's been awake for an hour now and I'm thinking bout' orderin' some pizza. Sound good?" Raph asked, watching his youngest brother carefully. Ordering the pizza was more for Mikey's sake than for Don. Donnie would be stuck slurping the same crappy soup Mikey got stuck with days ago but he knew Mikey hadn't been himself since he woke up and thought maybe ordering his favorite pizza would be a step in the right direction to help cheer him up.

But when Raph got a grumbling reply of, "Mm'not hungry," his fuse was lit.

"Huh? What do you mean not hungry? Mikey you haven't eaten anything since you woke up from the fight. I don't care what it is but yer' eating somethin' tonight," Raph all but growled out in mild concern. The fact that Mikey already looked like a beaten bruised up green apple made Raph's anger tick every time he looked at his brother but to realize Mikey hadn't been eating properly on top of his injuries only got him more riled up.

Mikey let out a frustrated grunt and turned to walk back towards Raph while saying, "I just don't have the appetite bro, can't you drop it?"

"No I can't drop it Mikey. Are you even listening to yourself? You sayin' you don't have an appetite is like me saying I'm not in the mood for a fight," Raph paused as he watched Mikey walk past him before continuing with, "and if you don't eat anything today then I'll have to get Leo involved."

That stopped Mikey in his tracks from jumping down toward the fire escape. He wanted to laugh and he wanted to yell. These emotions were so conflicting it was starting to give him a headache. _Get Leo involved?_ Mikey made a disapproving scowl in the end because Leo couldn't be in the same room as Mikey for longer than ten seconds let alone make any eye contact at all. Leo wouldn't get involved. He lost his right to be involved with "Mikey problems" on the night of that fight.

 _He probably wouldn't care if I starved to death…_ Mikey shook his head. _Stop thinking like that, of course he would,_ he tried to convince himself. His heart believed Leo still cared tremendously about him but his stupid brain was malfunctioning and tried to say otherwise and it was hard not to listen to the reasons behind his thoughts.

"Well we wouldn't want that would we," Mikey settled on saying, mentally scolding himself once again for such a sarcastic tone.

Raph nearly flinched at the words. What exactly was his brother's problem? He knew Mikey inside and out for his whole life and could tell his brother was struggling with an internal battle but before he could say anything Mikey was on the move again, _hopefully toward home,_ and he had no choice but to follow.

It was a slower trip down the fire escape than it was going up. Mikey was falling victim to fatigue and exhaustion and having three busted ribs didn't help in the slightest. He could also say having a broken dysfunctional hand and nose didn't add any sort of relief either. Every move he made down the stairs and then the ladder felt like someone was teasingly torturing him by tapping through to his bones with a metal spoon. Bursts of pain would rattle throughout his body like now and he had to forcefully keep from grinding his teeth together in the off chance he'd break them too.

All that pain on top of the little stunt Leo pulled was slowly turning Mikey into a Raph Jr. and he hated how fast he was giving into such emotions.

It was a silent walk back down to the sewers filled with tension but Raph could only breathe a sigh of relief once they were hidden again from the human world. Mikey led the way and the elder turtle kept back a few paces to give his brother some breathing room but it was mostly due to the fact that Mikey looked like he was going to drop at any given moment and Raph wanted to be ready to catch him.

They were about a half a mile away from the lair's entrance now when Mikey came to a complete stop. Raph thought briefly that this was it, he was at his limit for the day when his brother spoke instead.

"Hey, I have a question," Mikey said, not turning to look at him. Raph tried to gauge what kind of question it might be from his tone but he couldn't quite figure it out. The way Mikey spoke had Raph wishing he didn't have to really provide an answer. It was bait Raph figured, and he didn't want to bite.

It didn't matter that Raph didn't respond because Mikey continued to speak anyways.

"You, Don, and I are stranded in the middle of an ocean. Don and I are both drowning for whatever reasons. Who do you save?" the younger turtle asked bluntly, almost even lifelessly.

The hothead couldn't quite comprehend the question, because, "What kind of fucking question is-"

"I'll eat something healthy tonight if you answer the question."

Raph was caught in Mikey's trap after all. He couldn't risk Mikey not eating for a fourth night in a row and if he was going to eat something healthy rather than greasy pizza then all the better. But how exactly was he supposed to answer a question like that. The sai wielder stood there in the middle of the sewer, wide eyed, gaping like an angry fish out of water. He was being blackmailed and not even for his own sake.

Raph crossed his arms over his chest and thought in concentration. He tensed up trying to imagine the situation and what he would do. He had no idea what was going on through that bonehead's mind right now but his brother had asked the question without a slice of humor and Raph knew Mikey wasn't messing around.

"I guess," Raph started, "whoever is the closest to me." He was surprisingly pleased with his answer because it seemed the most logical thing he could do.

Mikey seemed pleased by the answer too but he wasn't completely satisfied.

"Don and I are the same distance from you more or less. Who do you save and why?"

The youngest turtle's reasoning behind these questions was to get some kind of perspective behind Leo's choice back on the rooftop. He figured if Raph could give him a different angle of the situation without telling him what had actually happened up there then maybe he could start to forgive Leo for hurting him. At the end of the day Mikey just wanted to know _why_ Leo's choice was made. He refused to listen to the small self-doubt whispers in the back of his head telling him it was because he favored Don.

Mikey was about to turn around to see what was taking Raph so long to answer until he spoke.

"Honestly we'd probably all end up dead cuz' I'd try to save both of you anyways."

Raph said it quietly, just barely above a whisper but Mikey heard all the sincerity and truthfulness that laced his words. A layer of peace and relief wrapped around his heart as he realized Raph didn't technically choose one brother over another. But that layer was burned into nothingness as he recognized the severity of his brother's words. Three of them would be dead rather than one, and that's not what Mikey wanted at all. He would rather his brothers live on even if that meant his own death so why couldn't he forgive Leo for saving Don's life?

 _Because you were closer to him than Donnie was,_ his thoughts vividly told him as he recalled the memory. That was the hard cold fact and realization of it now. He was closer to Leo than Don had been by at least ten feet. He felt bile bubble in the back of his throat once more. If Leo had chosen to save Donnie because he was closer, well Raph was right in the sense that it was the most logical option. He could forgive Leo for that kind of reasoning but to go out of his way and run past Mikey to save Don was a whole new level of hurt that Mikey's never experienced before. An invisible hand wrapped around the youngest turtle's heart and squeezed until he swore his blood circulation was cut off. He felt as if his supply of oxygen was cut off too and all of a sudden he was chilled to the bone and couldn't breathe right. He was back to suffocating down under the streets of New York City and in front of Raph no less which was why he needed to keep his shit together right now. He could break down and fall apart in his room on his own time.

Silently taking a few big deep breaths of air he almost missed Raph calling out to him again.

"Mikey." Raph said in such an authorized tone one would think he was the leader of their small clan. It forced Mikey to turn around and face his brother who wore a neutral expression.

"Did Leo talk to you at all?" Raph asked after gaining his brother's undivided attention.

"No, why?"

"I just haven't seen you and Leo so much as look at each other since the fight and was wonderin' if he gave you some harsh lecture about that night that pissed you off or somethin'." Mikey thought Raph was too observant at the most inconvenient times. Must have been a secret hidden talent of his. He didn't realize Raph would notice something like that. It was more of Donnie's thing.

"What would he lecture me for?" the younger turtle nervously asked back, his heart now beating wildly against his chest.

It was a random change of topic but since it seemed like "question time" Raph took this opportunity to speak to Mikey alone and get a few answers.

"I dunno, Leo told me somethin' bout' you being too distracted up on the rooftop that night and that's why Donnie ended up having to save yer' shell."

 _What?_ Mikey questioned in his head. _What does he mean too distracted?_ Was he being blamed for Donnie's injuries? Because yeah he was distracted. He was too distracted in saving Leo's ass to save his own and that's when Donnie jumped in to help. Did he feel bad that Don took the hit for him? Incredibly. But did that really mean he was to blame for it? He didn't think so but apparently that's what Leo was doing…right? Just what kind of game did he think he was playing?

"That's what Leo said? That I got _too_ distracted in a battle for our lives?"

All of a sudden the atmosphere dramatically changed when Mikey asked the question with such purposeful malice. He was clenching his hand again, felt his nails breaking the barrier of his skin as he gave Raph a sharp, questioning, _do not bullshit me,_ kind of look that had Raph frozen in place. Mikey was never the turtle to give the "if looks can kill" vibe but Raph would be damned if this wasn't one now. The older turtle swore he felt sweat drops roll off the back of his head because in the way Mikey was presenting himself right now, he had Raph double guessing Leo's information. The way Mikey reworded the question just made Leo look dumb and Raph feel dumber. Of course he knew Mikey wouldn't slip up in such a dangerous circumstance but when Leo told him that little bit of information Raph knew something felt off and decided to get Mikey's side of the story too.

Raph was in the middle trying to come up with an answer, a simple yeah would have sufficed, but Mikey looked so upset and furious with the world that the red banded turtle lost his train of thought. He was so confused with Mikey's behavior and the young turtle wasn't offering any tips to what made him act the way he was. Raph's normal response was to yell and be infuriated with the situation but looking at Mikey now, he was still at a loss for words. He wish he could push Mikey into telling him what his problem was but Raph, knowing and owning the position Mikey was currently in with his kind of behavior, knew it was not the time.

"Well," Mikey said, breaking the silence. Raph saw the tension drop from his shoulders and his hand finally unclenched itself. The younger turtle now looked assertive, dominating, and ready to take over the world. _What the hell just happened?_ Raph asked himself.

"If that's what Leo said, then it must be true. He is, after all, the all-knowing fearless leader," the youngest finished with a tight lipped smile.

Ah. Pettiness and sarcasm. A ruthless combination. A very un-Mikey thing to do. But Raph was a freaking god at mastering such a thing and he knew some kind of pain backed those emotions.

Mikey turned curtly to leave when Raph stopped him again.

"Mikey," he started as gently as he could. The younger turtle didn't turn around but stopped walking in his tracks.

"Ya' know if something else happened on that rooftop and you wanna talk about it I'm here for you."

Mikey hadn't realized he was worrying Raph to the point of reaching out to him to comfort him on his own terms. Usually one would have to be moderately hurt to get the sai wielder to show the slightest bit of concern. _Oh wait, Mikey was_. The younger turtle hadn't felt such warmth directed towards him in a while now since Donnie had been out of commission until today and Leo was being well, for the lack of better words, stupid. But here Raph was still trying to be the best brother he could be, letting Mikey know that if he wants to talk then he's ready to listen. It was just so rare to see this side of Raph that it almost broke Mikey completely down.

"I know Raph," Mikey turned to face him again, "I just…I just need to figure some things out for myself right now. Okay?"

Raph walked over to him, his fluorescent green colored eyes flickering in the dim lit sewer tunnels. His intense stare had Mikey diverting his gaze downward until his older brother patted his hairless head fondly before saying, "Okay."

At that moment Mikey couldn't help the couple of tears that fell from his eyes and he rubbed at them quickly, sniffling slightly in the process. Raph on the other hand was now trying to keep from damaging not only the wall next to him but his hand as well. He hated a lot of things in life but seeing Mikey upset to the point of tears was at the top of the list. He kind of also hated that he understood how Mikey needed space. The older turtle just wanted to get to the bottom of Mikey's problems and beat anyone up who caused them. Leo included.

Trying to change the subject to something lighter Mikey decided to ask, "Will you still order a pizza?" with the smallest of light returning to those baby blue eyes.

Raph stopped rubbing his brother's head in thought. "I thought you were going to eat somethin' healthy."

"Order the supreme. Comes with veggies, protein, dairy, and carbs. That's everything you need to get those gains bro," Mikey joked backed, _finally._

"Hardy har har. Alright fine. I'll order the pizza and you go say hi to Donnie. Deal?"

"Deal."

Raph would order any damn pizza Mikey wanted right now, he'd order a thousand if it meant getting food into his brother's stomach and getting Mikey back to his old self. He also wanted to tell his brother not to ask anymore stupid questions like the one earlier but Raph thought that would be pushing his luck too far. Mikey was still Mikey after all and asking stupid questions was his second nature.

* * *

 **Hey everyoneeeee *huge sweat drop appears on forehead along with a sheepish smile* Anywayyyys I have uploaded finally and finished the story! I'm sorry it took so long but I thank you for your patience! We can all agree I'm one of the worst authors to keep up on updates.**

 **This is Chapter 2, I had to break it up for one, to give anyone a bathroom or food break take it now! And two, it was because the story was almost 20 pages long…**

 **So please, the story is not over, continue on to Chapter 3! I thank everyone who reviewed; I take what you all say to heart and appreciate the kindness! I also thank all those who have favorited, followed, or read my story so far!**

 **Keep on reading and have a great Wednesday!**

 **\- A Damsel in Distress**


	3. Chapter 3

The two turtles arrived at the lair minutes later, Raph took his role of pizza duty and Mikey headed toward Don's lab. If he was secretly praying that Leo wouldn't already be in there coddling the shell off of Don, well it wasn't spoken out loud. Mikey wasn't sure what to expect when he got to the lab, he didn't know how he'd react around Donnie now that he's been conscious for more than half an hour. His emotions were that of a PMSing preteen currently and he had to silently swear to himself that even if Leo was in there, he'd act natural. He could do that. Put on a little show for his immediate older brother, he's done it tons of times before. Although it's not usually under these kind of circumstances either.

When he reached the door he hesitated on knocking. He did in fact hear Don and Leo's muffled voices through the other side of the door. He could hear his heartbeat pound against his head as he tried to recompose himself before going in. Taking a deep breath and shoving back his feelings, he tapped on the door and waited for Don's gentle "Come in!"

Mikey slowly opened the door to find his immediate older brother sitting up on one of the cots he owned, Leo sitting in a metal chair next to him. When Don saw Mikey walk in his face lit up like a kid seeing fireworks for the first time. His smile was contagious so naturally Mikey returned it, ignoring Leo's presence for the moment and pulled Don's computer chair to the end of the cot.

"Hey Donnie," he greeted almost shyly.

"Mikey! Are you okay? I was worried when Raph said you left the lair, especially after-"

"I'm okay Don. Sorry for worrying you, I didn't go far I promise," the younger turtle quickly informed him. He did feel bad for worrying the purple banded turtle since he was still trying to recover from getting his head bashed in but he didn't need a third mother hen roaming around.

Donnie had been in and out of consciousness after waking up the same day Mikey had after the fight. The younger turtle supposed that the both of them got the worst of injuries even though all of them were covered in multiple colored bruises. Raph at some point had only managed to crack his shell and Leo ended up with a foot long gash along his shoulder blade. Mikey rarely visited Don in the last three days mostly due to the fact that Leo was always hovering over the poor boy and it didn't seem like the younger turtle's presence was wanted in those times.

Mikey's heart hurt again after recalling Leo only asking him how he felt when he woke up but that was the extent of his concern it seemed like.

 _This isn't about me and Leo right now, it's about Don,_ Mikey scolded himself with a mental slap to his face.

"How's your head feel?" he asked, trying to divert the attention away from himself as Don started to analyze him for his injuries right away.

"It feels better than the first time I woke up. Leatherhead said there's no cracks in the skull or internal bleeding so I'd say I got pretty lucky. It'll be sore for a while and Leo says I shouldn't overly think this week but we'll see," Don finished, smiling gently between the two of them. Donnie ended up with a bad concussion, bad enough to be worried about him slipping into a coma but when he woke up that first day, Leatherhead had said it was good news. The giant alligator had really saved their shells this time, stepping in to help take care of the turtles when their medic lost to his injuries. Leatherhead had looked after him and Mikey until he left in the afternoon today with a promise that he'd come back tomorrow after gathering a few more supplies from his part of the sewer.

Mikey also couldn't help but hear once again one of his brothers' calling themselves lucky. He couldn't stand how luck played a huge role in their survival that night. They had never been so damn lucky before. Mikey would still argue that they weren't but he also considered things could have been worse.

Like Donnie falling into a coma. Or his own death.

A whispered _Leo chose Don_ flittered across his thoughts and the younger turtle shook his head slightly to get rid of it.

"How about you Mikey? Was Leatherhead able to fix your hand okay? Your nose looks like its back in place at least," Don said, narrowing his eyes at the damage done to his only younger brother.

And there Don went again worrying about Mikey like he never took a brick wall to the back of his head so the orange masked turtle had to take this opportunity to have a little bit of twisted fun.

"Yeah my nose is fine, but Leatherhead didn't tell you about my hand?"

On that note, Leo looked like the witch from Narnia turned him to stone as he froze with tension. He even offered Mikey a quick scrutinizing glance, the first glance he's had since four days ago from the leader and was that concern that flashed among those lake blue eyes? Mikey couldn't be sure before Leo turned back to looking down at the bed.

As he was still trying to guess Leo's reaction, Don interrupted his thoughts with, "No, what?!"

Another pang of small guilt hit the youngest turtle as he saw Don genuinely angry. Oh well, there's no going back now. It was fun to mess with Donnie. They both needed it.

"Oh," Mikey pretended to be heartbroken about the fake news, "there was no saving it Don." He heard Don gasp and saw Leo grind his teeth. If Raph were here he would have already called him on his bullshit since he's the only one that was there when Leatherhead fixed his hand. But he wasn't and couldn't so Mikey played on and if it made Leo feel even more guilty about the whole thing since Mikey's hand did get stabbed in the process of him saving Don's life, _of him choosing Don over you_ , then so be it. The youngest turtle smirked in his head.

"Yeah, he said the nerves pretty much got fried bro. It's just a useless limb hanging off me for no purpose now. LH wanted to amputate it," at this point Don looked ready to cry for him, "but I told him I had a handsome reputation to keep up and it was better just to leave it as it was for image purposes."

Don looked like a knife had been driven through his gut a few times, his hand clenching the side of the cot and Leo just straight up glared at Mikey then. The youngest turtle almost let out a laugh at his oldest brother knowing Leo had caught on to his lie and figuratively dared his brother to ruin his fun after the pain he's been through. Had Donnie not been so medicated right now, he would have caught the undertone of a joke lacing Mikey's words too but he was on the slower end of things today so the youngest turtle decided to give him a hint.

"I mean _come on Donnie_ ," he exaggerated, "I'm already a mutated turtle. Picking up chicks is hard enough as it is…but being a handless mutated turtle? I've got like a negative infinity percent chance bro. Can you imagine what I'd look like without this guy?" Mikey asked, finally letting loose a smile as he held up his injured hand , palm facing forward and wiggled his fingers since the rest of his hand had been plastered in a cast.

He had to wait a minute for Don to put two and two together and let it sink in that had Mikey's nerves actually been that badly damaged, he wouldn't have been able to do what he just did.

The orange banded turtle watched Don's face with amusement as it changed from a "holyshitI'msosorryMikey" to a "youbetterstartplanningyourfuneralbecauseI'mgoingtokillyou" look. Don shot daggers at his younger brother, weakly attempting to throw a small plastic cup that once held his drinking water in although Mikey would have easily caught it had it actually reached him at the end of the bed.

"That wasn't funny," Don spat out, angrier at himself for being tricked rather than Mikey's actual lie.

"It was kind of funny. You should have seen your face!" Mikey laughed, and god did it feel good. He hadn't laughed like this since before the fight and that felt like it had been months ago rather than days. His laughing got a small smile out of Don anyways as Leo softened his glare and went back to avoiding his wonderful presence. Leo wasn't being very leader-y at all and it grinded Mikey's gears but he didn't let it show for the sake of Don being there.

Mikey's loud burst of laughter caught Raph's attention as he walked in.

"What'd I miss?" the hothead asked.

"Don just asked about my hand and I told him I couldn't feel it anymore. You should have seen his face when he finally got that I was joking. I thought it was going to explode there for a second," Mikey smiled again.

"Mikey your face looks liked it already exploded with all that purple and yellow bruising covering your beak!"

"HA! Don you got you there bro," Raph chimed in.

Mikey glared at him before realizing why the red banded turtle hadn't come into the lab with him to begin with. "Is the pizza on its way?" he asked, brushing off his brother's insults, suddenly hungrier than he's ever been. All those days of skipping out on meals had finally caught up to him now that he was slowly returning to good spirits and pizza _realllly_ sounded good right now.

"Yeah, I'll go pick it up in ten."

Mikey nodded, content with the answer.

"So," the youngest started breaking the small awkward silence that followed. "What were you guys talking about in here before I blessed you with my presence?"

Don rolled his eyes and Raph grinned like a maniac, ecstatic that his youngest brother seemed to be in a better mood now. Leo still sat there in the corner acting like he had some kind of invisibility cloak around his shoulders. Mikey did notice how he went rigid again and couldn't understand why he would be so worked up about such a simple question.

"Actually, Mikey," Don looked to address said brother, "I was just telling Leo what I remembered from that night and I told him how you were too distracted saving his shell to save your own and that's when I took my first hit to the wall. I wish it went more gracefully than it did," Donnie ended up mumbling by the end looking disappointed and somewhat embarrassed that he was knocked unconscious first which nobody blamed him for in the slightest. He did after all take the hit that was meant for Mikey.

But the youngest turtle upon hearing this took a minute to connect the dots.

 _Oh?_ He questioned what he heard, _ohhhhh,_ he thought almost gleefully because he realized Donnie boy had seen him save Leo's ass after all. That's why Leo acted the way he did. He just learned that he gave Raph a bit of unfinished somewhat false information on what really happened on the rooftop and because the hothead didn't see it and Mikey wasn't going to go broadcasting the news, hearing it from Don must've been a low blow. Mikey was pretty sure Leo was just about drowning in guilt now. _Or he should be,_ the youngest thought darkly.

"I think we all wish things went differently that night D, but you helped save my shell back there no matter what it looked like so I appreciate it!" Mikey expressed his gratitude for the bo wielder with a warm smile and a thumbs up which Don was happy to return the smile at least.

But something in the back of Mikey's soul, something twisted, dark, and ugly wanted to take a jab at the comment and direct it towards Leo. He, in a way, wanted to hurt his brother and make him feel one fourth of a fourth of the pain he's been dealing with. At the same time he didn't. He couldn't hurt his brother like that; it wasn't in character of him to do something so vulgar. So when he asked Donnie, "Do you think I was _too distracted_? That I should have had enough time to defend myself and save you the hit?" he regretted it immediately. Although he wouldn't lie and say it didn't feel good to let some anger through. Everybody had a breaking point after all.

Raph gave a disapproving frown at the back of his brother's head, knowing what Mikey was trying to get at and Donnie sat there stunned. With widen eyes he said to the youngest turtle, "What? Geez- _No!_ Of course I don't think so, not at all. I knew you wouldn't be able to react fast enough when that other elite took his advantage on you so I tried to jump in when I could. Don't you dare blame what happened to me on yourself, you probably saved Leo's life too."

 _Oh on the contrary,_ Mikey thought. He didn't blame himself because the whole situation was messed up but he wanted Leo to hear it straight. For thinking Mikey was distracted when their lives were in danger was insulting. He thought Leo knew him better than that but it was also the fact that he went and told Raph his little opinion too making Mikey look like the bad guy there for a second. How rude _._

 _And then he ran past you to save Don,_ that dark spot from the depth of his soul reminded him. _No, I'm glad that he did. I just want to know why,_ his heart contradicted.

"Besides," Don continued after getting no reply from anyone, "you got a pretty good whooping yourself. What happened after I passed out?"

"Well," Mikey started, a Cheshire grin playing on his lips, "Leo saved you," _over me._

That's when hypothetical shit hit the hypothetical fan and hypothetically flung all across the room. It was because at this point Mikey knew that Leo knew what he meant to say. Leo stood so fast it made his head spin and the chair knocked over with a rattled _clank_ sound. He turned his shaking body towards the exit, eyes down casted to the floor as he told them, "I'll get the food," and left with the door shutting firmly behind him.

"What was that all about?" Don asked as the eldest left his three brothers staring after him. Raph was the first to turn back around and give Mikey a questioning look-no wait, it was more of a demanding glare but Mikey simply shrugged his shoulders also turning back around to face Don again and replied, "You know how Leo gets. Blaming himself for things he can't control," which was the half-truth.

The purple banded turtle nodded, deciding to accept that answer before asking, "So how'd he save me? What happened after that?"

Mikey then let Raph explain his side of the story for one, it was sugar coated since by the time Raph got over the wall Leo was already fighting off the remaining elite and he hadn't seen what kind of decision Leo even had to make. But two, Mikey had fallen unconscious as soon as the elite above him slipped with the grapple hook in his neck that led to the almost hole through the back of his hand so Mikey couldn't explain what happened after that anyways.

After a quick discussion of trying to figure out where these new fancy scarfed elites came from, they drew a blank and had to assume it was just some more of Shredder's goons again but more developed and upgraded as ever. Had there been any more that night, Mikey was pretty sure things would have ended a lot differently. The conversation was cut at hearing Leo return with the pizza in hand who stopped by the lab once more just to give the box to Raph before disappearing to the dojo to work off some stress no doubt.

Raph grabbed some plates and handed the first couple of pizza pieces to Mikey and made sure he ate the damn things before eating a slice himself. He even got suckered into letting Don having a small piece by Mikey's puppy dog eyes and the genius's whining. A while later, saying a quick goodnight to Raph and Don, Mikey left for his room. He was dead tired; today had been full of events and extremely draining, especially while trying to still nurse his own injuries. Luckily his legs still functioned somewhat normally and he was able to get around easier as long as he managed not to aggravate his ribs too much.

When the youngest turtle laid in his bed he found himself remembering that dreadful night all over again. He remembered being unable to move on the roof, feeling a brush of air against his face and opening his eyes to realize Leo chose to save Don's life.

It still hurt. It still made him feel sick at night.

Why though? What logical explanation could Leo give for his decision? Why hadn't Leo at least confronted him about it? Leo _knows_ Mikey was conscious enough to remember that moment; it was too hurtful to forget even after falling into a world of darkness and an unknown future.

 _What was Leo doing?_ Mikey asked himself with his good arm over his face, blocking out the light in his room. He thought for a good couple of minutes. Recalling Leo avoiding most eye contact, making excuses to get out of a room he had to be with Mikey in, he was…

A conclusion hit Mikey like a two thousand pound wrecking ball that made him break out into a cold sweat. He let his arm from his face fall back to his side and glared in shock at his ceiling.

Leo was running away. His brother, the fearless, was _fearful_ of confrontation.

And. Mikey. Was. Not. Hav-ing. It.

With a burst of new found angry energy and adrenaline, the youngest turtle forced himself out of his bed, exiting his room, and heading straight for the dojo. If Leo wasn't going to volunteer himself for an explanation then Mikey was going to have to make him. Even if it meant a spar.

 _Wait no, he'd have the advantage right now,_ Mikey thought as his sore muscles and busted bones screamed in protest. BUT he was going to have some serious words with that turtle. With all the confidence he could muster, the orange banded turtle shoved open their dojo door and slammed it shut again behind him.

He saw Leo whose shell faced him, dripping in sweat from whatever routine workout he just finished. With a small frown on his face, Mikey vaguely hoped that his brother would clean up the wet droplets all over the mats before someone slipped and fell but switched gears back to his intended purpose of being there. The good thing about being in the dojo was that Mikey had Leo trapped with only one way out and the oldest would have to go through the youngest first before trying to make a break away.

"Leo," Mikey said with determination, his casted hand held against the side of his plastron and the other clenched with white knuckles on the opposite side. He squared his shoulders, anticipating a response from his brother.

"Mikey," the eldest retorted with a defeated tired sounding sigh, still not turning around. It was like Mikey was the last person (turtle) in the world that Leo didn't want to deal with and it made that dark hole beyond Mikey's chest expand a little more. What did he ever do to Leo? Leo was the one that hurt him and continued to do so after the fight by avoiding him at all costs.

 _Why?_ Mikey desperately thought, his lips quivering with boiling anger. Before he could stop himself he asked, "Do you hate me Leo?" in a small childlike voice after taking a deep breath and forcing himself to calm down.

That tone, that self-doubt and distrust that came from his youngest brother forced Leo to turn around, his brother instinct telling him to assure and comfort him. Speaking in volume right below a yell Leo said with some sort of desperation willing his brother to believe his next words, "Of course not Mikey-"

"Then why have you been avoiding me since the fight?!" _Why haven't you confronted me? Why did you choose Don over me?_

Leo seemed to be at a loss of words. How do you talk to someone, especially your brother, who you knowingly hurt?

"I didn't think you'd want me around right now," Leo ended up mumbling.

"Why?" Mikey wasn't backing down. He wanted his brother to own up to his actions that night but it was like fighting with tooth and nail to get him to confess.

Leo didn't respond. He didn't want to confirm what Mikey already knew. He didn't want to hurt his brother more than he already had. He didn't want to face reality. Leo saw the way Mikey looked at him since the fight, so _hurt_ and _betrayed_ like a puppy that'd been kicked and thrown out by an owner it loved, admired, and adored. It tore Leo into pieces. He hadn't had a decent sleep since that night, his brother's near death experience replaying over and over again in his head because of his ultimate decision.

"Because you chose to save Donnie's life over mine?" Mikey finally asked in a defeated whisper. This was it, the anticipated grand finale. He was finally going to get the answers he deserved.

Leo went numb. Dropping the sword he held to the ground, he felt he'd been suckered punched in the stomach, the wind getting knocked out of him. His skin went cold and clammy, heart dropping to the bottom of a sea as he stood there staring hopelessly at his little brother.

He needed Mikey to understand. He needed him to understand how _sorry_ he was. Leo would travel to the end of the universe into every and any possible dimension to find a way to change the past and make sure they never got caught up in that fight to begin with. He'd knock on Shredder's front door if the guy had some kind of time travel machine and kill his entire army single handedly to change that moment. He'd offer his life here and now to Death itself if it meant forever taking away Mikey's pain.

But he couldn't.

"Leo," Mikey started again, his voice starting to tremble, "don't get me wrong. I really am happy that you saved Don over me, it's what I wanted. I don't mind dying if it meant one of you gets to live. But by stupid luck that I'm grateful for, I'm still alive and I can't help but look back at that night trying to figure out what made Donnie special enough to run past me. I was closer... the most logical response probably would have been to save me, so I just wanted to know what your reason was to save his life over mine," Mikey finished explaining, his gaze dropping from Leo's distraught stare.

"M-Mikey…" Leo was on his last thread before falling into hysteria's awaiting arms.

"Please?"

"I-What do you want me to tell you?!" Leo lividly asked; he was getting defensive. He was being forced and pressured into answering questions he wasn't sure how to. His once cool skin ignited with a burning sensation as he fought to keep calm and collective.

Mikey was taken aback from Leo's heated response as he looked him back in those swirled grey and blue colored eyes.

Right as the orange banded turtle was getting around to repeating what he wanted, Leo interrupted with, "I don't know what to tell you Mikey. Back on the rooftop my mind just went blank. I couldn't make a decision; you know I would _never_ willingly choose one of my brothers' life over another. I-I couldn't do it. But we'd all end up dead so I had to do something. I was useless as a brother Mikey and I am sorry for that but I couldn't risk both of your lives either," Leo finally broke eye contact since looking at his brother in the dojo and stared at his feet while he concluded with, "So I let my leader instincts take over and make a decision for me."

Oh. _I see,_ Mikey thought. He didn't know whether to be happy and relieved that Leo couldn't make the decision as a brother after all but he was still frustrated with his _leader's_ choice.

"Okay, I understand that…but so, what? I'm not a valued member of the team or something?" Mikey asked skeptically.

Leo quickly looked back up, "No of course you are Mikey! I don't know why that part of me chose Don-"

"Well it's not like a demon possessed you and took over your mind Leo! You are still you as a brother or as a leader. You had to have some purpose behind that decision since you ignored logic. Why do you think the leader in you chose to spare Don's life over mine? I think I deserve to know," Mikey demanded.

"I don't-"

"Think about it!" the youngest turtle yelled, ending up slightly panting. Why did he want to know so badly? Why couldn't he thank the turtle heavens for sparing his life and be done with it? He didn't know. He just knew he wanted Leo's reasoning to feed his own selfish curiosity.

Leo took a minute to look at his flustered little brother, wanting to comfort and pull him in a tight hug and just be there for him for the next hundred years. Instead, he couldn't handle these emotions of guilt and pain keeping him from answering Mikey's question properly so he used his newly acquired skill. He got rid of all those feelings for a minute to let the leader inside him answer instead.

Silver like fog clouded the older turtle's once blue eyes and Mikey knew it was an indication that he was about to get an answer from his leader.

"Maybe it's because Don does contribute more to the team. He's more… _useful._ Being the team's only medic and a scientist on top of it all puts his value at the top of the list. He doesn't goof off and always comes through when we need him to. That's it. That's my reasoning," he ended, his eyes returning to normalcy.

Mikey knew that whatever Leo answered, it would hurt. He thought he was in pain before but this was hell. No one ever wants to hear those kinds of words directed towards them. Implying that they were of lesser value. Expendable. The youngest turtle stood there as if watching someone slowly pull out his intestines inch by inch. Mikey finally let tears roll down his flushed cheeks as he tried to not choke on air. _This is what you wanted,_ his heart reminded him. _You asked for this. Don't hate Leo for his words…for giving you what you asked for._

Leo wouldn't feel the same kind of pain Mikey did but he did hurt in a different way. He watched Mikey start to fall apart before his eyes and had to quickly finish what he wanted to say before he lost his brother completely.

"But Mikey you have to know, I am sorry that I wasn't able to save you too. I'm sorry I had to force my feelings away and make a decision that way. There's nothing I can do to make it up to you right now, I know, but I will try every day until I earn your trust again and I'll make sure that we never end up in that same situation. I promise. I'm sorry Mikey, please _please_ believe me," Leo desperately took a step forward.

" _Don't,"_ Mikey ordered in agonizing heartbreak, "just don't Leo."

Leo didn't move again. His brother was hurting so much and it was his fault. His insides felt as if a tiger was clawing at every muscle in his body. He wanted a tiger to; he thought he deserved it. The one thing the oldest turtle promised himself was to always protect his brothers no matter the cost. Instead he was breaking one, watching Mikey fall into a darkened world and Leo's the one who pushed him into it. He knew he couldn't do anything else. Knew he had to let Mikey grieve for himself. Knew that as much as he wanted to hold his little brother he couldn't. He lost that privilege and would have to earn it once again.

"Thank you, Leo. For being a good leader and answering honestly," Mikey hoarsely said, wiping tears away from his eyes and snot off his upper lip.

Leo flinched. He was thanking him? Telling him he was a good leader? He didn't think he deserved a brother like Mikey.

"I'll train harder. I'll stop goofing off and get on Donnie's level. Maybe he can teach me some basic first aid stuff too ya' know?" Mikey chuckled trying to put on a brave front.

That…that wasn't what Leo wanted for him.

"Mikey-"

"I-Leo I feel sick, I'm going to go."

 _No!_ Leo inwardly screamed. He didn't want Mikey to leave yet. He didn't get a chance to tell his brother that he didn't want him to change. That he liked Mikey for who he was, mistakes, jokes, and any other flaw included. He wanted to tell Mikey he loved him before his littlest brother thought any different. Leo wanted to admit to his stupidity and carelessness that night of the fight, and tell Mikey that things never should have turned out this way. He wanted to say a million more things all of sudden but he missed his chance.

The younger turtle was about T minus two minutes from spilling his dinner's contents all over the mat. He needed to get to the bathroom. All these emotions caused too much anxiety that made Mikey sick to his stomach and he just needed to get out of that dojo for some fresh breathable air. He couldn't do that with Leo standing there looking at him the way he was. _With pity,_ Mikey thought.

With a semi hunched over posture, trying to relieve some discomfort in his stomach, Mikey turned to walk back out the dojo door leaving Leo feeling helpless and looking lost.

Mikey ran into Raph in the living room who gruffly asked, "What's wrong Mikey?" while reaching out to set his hands on both sides of the crying turtle's shoulders.

The younger turtle couldn't do anything more but shake his head and murmur, "…sick, Raphie. Need bathroom."

The hothead was so confused; Mikey had been fine about an hour ago. He looked around the room trying to find something to blame for this mess when he spotted Leo through opened doors.

He let out an animalistic growl while thinking, _what the hell did you do?_

Raph would have confronted Leo had it not been for Mikey weakly pulling on his arms to let him through. The sai wielder ended up grabbing Mikey's good wrist and pulled him towards the bathroom to take care of him.

Leo locked himself in his room for the rest of the night.

* * *

Lying restlessly with his eyes closed for a couple hours, Leo opened them to stare mindlessly at a small piece of lint that was on his bed. He thought of nothing as he breathed quietly, temporarily hiding from the world. His head hurt and it was times like this he really missed Master Splinter.

He sighed, rolling over onto his shell. He started to weigh the pros and cons about being a leader; the honor that came with it and the sacrifices that were made. He hated this responsibility but he excelled at it which was why he was able to make a call that was best for his team and not his family.

 _Mikey,_ he thought.

He ruined his relationship with his younger brother forever. Only time will heal broken bonds as long as Leo puts in the effort to proving himself as a brother again by making sure he's always there for Mikey from here on out. But his little brother will forever wear a scar on his heart. He could forgive Leo one day, not any day this week or even this year, but sometime in the future. He could forgive, but he couldn't forget.

This was the price Leo had to pay, the burden he had to live with forever, the consequence of following a leader's instinct, and for the first time in thirteen years; Leonardo Hamato cried.

 _ **End**_.

* * *

 **There you have it! I don't know where Master Splinter was in this fic, he was just _not there_. So I will just leave that up to your imagination wherever you decide he was (whether he passed on or was out of the country, up to you).**

 **I hope you enjoyed this story! A huge shout out to those who didn't give up on it! If you would like to leave a review I would love to hear your opinions! Otherwise another thank you to those who follow, favorited, reviewed, and read this!**

 **I hope you're still having a great Wednesday!**

 **Much love,**

 **A Damsel in Distress**


End file.
